PUBLIC 035 → happily, i swing my life away with you

PUBLIC 034 → examine the sunlight

For my birthday, Josh drove me down to the beach late at night to make it there for sunrise. It was just about the sweetest thing ever. We have our wedding date set as well as the place and while we have a bit of time before we tie the knot, it’s just exciting to think about.

PUBLIC 033 → take my hand tonight

take my hand tonight
let’s not think about tomorrow

 

PUBLIC 032 → there can only be one and his name is timmy

PUBLIC 031 → does that make me beautiful tonight

PUBLIC 030 → top five

1. uh huh her • not a love song
2. tilly and the wall • the freest man
3. his orchestra • rainsnow
4. flobots •  stand up
5. tegan and sara •  the con

PUBLIC 029 → celine dion

“I’m almost there, what’s your sudden hurry?” Shawn muttered in return, making sure that no one else was even remotely privy to their private side conversation. Gus’ brow arched menacingly.

“Well excuse me Shawn, I don’t exactly like the idea that I’m sitting trapped in a circle with a possible murderer. Look, when you took this case I told you – I told you Shawn, not to drag me into this. And what did you do?”

“I lied and said I heard Celine Dion was going to be giving a surprise concert in a super secret location downtown and got you not only to drive me here but pay for parking and a frozen strawberry fruit bar? Which by the way, did I mention – was delicious. Thank you again for that.” A muted growl vibrated from Gus’ throat. “Relax,” Shawn soothed as he usually did. “I’m almost there. Then, we’ll tell Jules which one of these girls she gets to cuff with the new extra small handcuffs Lassie’s been toting around in his back pockets like a stripper. Jules will be overly grateful and reward me in possible semi-naked, and oh fingers crossed, completely naked ways. It’s a win-win situation Gus, think about it. I get to have sex with Jules and you get to stall my dad – you know keep him away from the house for a good two hours while I convince Juliet how hot it’ll be to do in my dad’s shower just to piss him off. I don’t see how you aren’t on board with the whole plan yet. It’s practically got Oscar gold oozing from its delicate pores.”

PUBLIC 028 →

eventually the lavender turns to fade to grey

PUBLIC 027 → it’s firefight

i know of this place i go some summer nights it takes me up and down those shocking lights rocks me to bed it doesn't know that i am awake lady with a bowl of rice - a man turning off the lights

PUBLIC 026 → angus, oh angus

we will never forget you

PUBLIC 025 →

PUBLIC 024 →

smooth like a rolling crystal ball heading for a sight line straight towards a fall no one will get through no one will get through at all the night sky illuminates it all like a distant fire fight all is orchestral time is coming soon just to pass by you, by you and i will hide myself away save all of these people for another day and i will hide myself away just to spite them all for another day the moon comes down on me again soon this mumbling train now slowly will begin giving me this pain this paralyzing pain again the night sky illuminates it all like a distant fire fight all is orchestral time is coming soon just to pass by you, pass by you

PUBLIC 023 → dear malaria,

fuck you for infecting my fiance. sincerely, me.

PUBLIC 022 → storytime

So here you go. Here’s your big test. Are you gonna’ get a big fat old A or flunk it out like the rest of us. Let’s give it a shot and see. You’re a whore. You sleep around with just about everyone and hell, I’ve even heard about some of the costumes you put on when you’re entertaining a few of the parents, both husband and wife as you act out the lonely crocodile and the two little swimming flamingos. Cut, print, lame. You’re lame and you’re a scam and everyone is just too lazy to do anything about it. Why should I do anything you tell me to? I don’t respect you. In fact the only reason you’re a functioning part of society and not kicked to the streets to wander around like the creep you are is because they can’t find someone to replace you. I know, what a novel concept. All those little kids that grow up claiming they want to be teachers? Well I guess somewhere along the road they had a teacher like you and were scared into a more comfortable career path. Like prostitution. Everyone at the Henderson house knows who you really are. It’s why they don’t come to school. It’s a protest of the system. The fact that there’s such a lack of attention to the things that really matter and such intense focus on the things that aren’t worth a shit drives them crazy. It’s kind of getting to me too and I really don’t care about school or what’s going on with it. But honestly, I guess I can see if from their point of view. There’s been an increase in bullying yet a lack of background checks for instructors, and all that ever gets brought at meetings is whether or not we can afford new balls for the gym and if a bake-sale will get us there. I don’t know mommy and daddy – will a peppermint swirl brownie hide the fact that little Timmy is sitting in the corner with his underwear up his ass and a bruise the size of Paris Hilton’s ego on his face? Yeah, I didn’t think so either.

PUBLIC 021 → faux

“Wait a minute. I remember that,” he interjected hesitantly, obviously confused. Shawn cast a glance his way, his teeth slightly grit against one another.

“Of course you do Gus, that’s why it’s a memory of mine. A memory that I’m sharing with the group,” he gave a slight jerk of the head as if reminding Gus where he was - that they were still working, that the case had not yet been solved.

“Oh right, of course.” Gus laughed nervously. “How silly of me to forget Shawn, I apologize.” He turned to face the group of women before him. “I apologize. What a horrible friend you all must think I am.”

“Don’t be silly Gus, you’re a wonderful friend.” Shawn waggled a finger in a chiding manner. “Even if America Ferrara does portray you as a little more emotional and busty than you truly are.” He drifted off for a split second. “Really man, the bust is just an upgrade by the way. You should really thank the writers for that.” Gus glared silently.

PUBLIC 020 → all you people at the top don’t know nothing about it

PUBLIC 019 → summer

it’s laying out on hard uncomfortable cement next to a friend as you talk about life and stare up at the stars. even when it’s quiet the stars are still there and it’s incredible how often we don’t take the chance to just be calm and watch them. summer is millions of mosquito bites on your arms and legs despite spraying on half a can of “off” and swatting at each other’s faces, swearing there was one near their nose. it’s no shoes, no sandals, bare feet, damp grass. muddied toes, muddied hands, skinned knees, and sore ribs from laughing too hard. it’s frisbees and footballs and lacrosse and soccer and shooting hoops. it’s smores and and marshmallows bursting into flames so that the entire outer region is practically crunchy. it’s silly stories, guitars, music and the flashes of the camera’s light. it’s not worrying what anyone thinks of you, but what you think of the world around you. it’s a circle of friends just staring into the great beyond of space. it’s wondering, thinking, guessing, knowing. it’s fireflies.

PUBLIC 018 → i meant when i said i’d never hurt you, she lied to get a better grip on her knife

Laura had her baby shower today for little Ella. She’s up to 4 lbs, 12 oz and just as slick as ever. She’s seriously such an adorable baby with her tiny fists and quick slight of hand with her feeding tube. She hates that thing and the last time I was there, when we turned our backs she pulled it right out and tucked it underneath her armpit to hide it from us. I guess she thought the nurses would just let her keep it out. Very clever for a baby who is only a month old. Apparently she can roll over and laugh already as well! Brian moved on Saturday for Boston. It was sad seeing him go. He was my first friend in college and when he moved down the street last year it was fantastic being able to just walk around with him whenever we wanted. We decided to go to this fortune teller we went to freshman year. They were so off the first time we wanted to just see if they made the same crazy predictions or if they changed at all. Oh my gosh, it was so laughable. First, it wasn’t the old lady that normally does them - it was her son who was probably a year or so older than us. He wore a backwards baseball cap and had like a five o’clock shadow and was carrying take-out in his hand. He barely even looked at our palms and just kept telling us we were “good people.” He told me that I loved being in water and doing water sports. I can’t really swim, I’m no good at sports. He told Brian he was going to be a lawyer. Brian wants to be a film director. Really not even close to being a lawyer at all. It was worth the money because we laughed the rest of the night. I miss Josh so much. I can’t believe he’s been gone for over a week now because it’s just felt so much longer because of how far away he is. 

PUBLIC 017 → lit by fireflies

PUBLIC 016 → top five

1. flight of the conchords• hiphopopotomas vs rhymenoceros
2. css • left behind
3. jason mraz • i’m yours
4. jupiter rising • electropop
5. forest dwellers • cats and dogs cats and walruses

PUBLIC 015 → let that record play it’ll be okay

I’ve been able to talk to Josh a few times the past couple of days. Unfortunately it’s difficult trying to have much of a conversation internationally because of all the delays from the satellites. Still, it’s nice to hear his voice on the other end. I’m just so proud of him. I’m completely homesick without him though. I know he was happy today because he got to play soccer. I know he’d been looking forward to that quite a bit. I’m not sure why it’s so much harder with him gone than it usually is. He’s gone away before, but I suppose never as far. We called each other before we went to sleep every night and said “love you goodnight” to one another and so it’s difficult to not be able to do that now. When I’m going to bed he’s still fast asleep so it would make no sense to wake him up just to tell him goodnight. Their internet still isn’t working which is hard. I’m just not used to such little contact with him. It’s funny because we’re both very independent people and neither of us is all that demanding for the other’s attention. But when you simply can’t talk to the other person, it’s frustrating as hell. I just hope he and the rest of the group are safe and come home both happy and all in one piece.

PUBLIC 014 →

love of mine some day you will die but i’ll be close behind i’ll follow you into the dark no blinding light or tunnels to gates of white just our hands clasped so tight waiting for the hint of a spark if heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied illuminate the no’s on their vacancy signs if there’s no one beside you when your soul embarks then i’ll follow you into the dark in catholic school as vicious as roman rule i got my knuckles brusied by a lady in black and i held my toungue as she told me “son fear is the heart of love” so i never went back if heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied illuminate the no’s on their vacancy signs if there’s no one beside you when your soul embarks then i’ll follow you into the dark you and me have seen everything to see from bangkok to calgary and the soles of your shoes are all worn down the time for sleep is now it’s nothing to cry about cause we’ll hold each other soon the blackest of rooms if heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied illuminate the no’s on their vacancy signs if there’s no one beside you when your soul embarks then i’ll follow you into the dark then i’ll follow you into the dark”

PUBLIC 013 →

Josh left for his trip today. It was incredibly sad to see him go. I want to hope the best and I’ll be praying for him every minute he’s there as well as for the others he’s travelling with. I was so proud of myself that I didn’t cry, but that was most likely because Steven came along to say goodbye and I know he would’ve never let me hear the end of it. I definitely cried on the phone last night where Josh quietly reminded me he had made a promise to marry me and damn sure wasn’t going to break that promise. “I have too much to live for to die there,” he told me. It was so sweet and I just want to know that he’ll be safe and taken care of and come home to me so I can smother him with sloppy kisses. He took the photobook I made for him with him so that he can look at it if he starts to miss me or home in general. I also slipped him a note for after I left that simply said, “you’re the pizza of my eye” which is a lyric from a song that reminds him of me he’s said. We were actually listening to it together in the car over the weekened and he started to cry. I love that boy so much. He better come home to me.

PUBLIC 012 → kasey and i would get bored at work

Kasey,

You should really know better than to give Stan the password to your journal so he could email Amber all the time like he does. That bastard doesn’t even know I stole it from him! But only because he stole my cheesy poofs. I love my cheesy poofs. Don’t ever touch my fucking cheesy poofs. So I overheard from Amber that you had not hugged your Braff that day. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? HAVE YOU REPLACED ME? Did you forget about our long nights on the beach with Kitty and Chef singing about salty balls? Have you forgotten to respect my authoritah? If I had any emotions whatsoever other than “pissed off” I would be so hurt. In fact, I think I wouldn’t even be able to kick Kyle in the nuts. Why do I like to kick Kyle in the nuts? Because it’s a beautiful, beautiful thing. Kind of like car combustion but we’ll save that story for another day. In fact remind Amber to tell you a story, okay? She’s been so forgetful lately I heard she let Billie Joe have some pancakes. THE HORROR! As long as it’s not my damn cheesy poofs. NOBODY BETTER TOUCH MY GOD DAMN CHEESY POOFS! Except for you, you may touch my cheesy poofs. And by cheesy poofs I mean . . don’t fucking touch them or I will send Kitty to cut you up! Like those roaches from family guy.

And what’s this about choosing to watch the fat, funny man Peter Griffin over the fat, MUCH FUNNIER kid Eric Cartman? That’s a bad Kasey! Respect my authoritah! Anyway so I was chilling with Butters last night, yeah I don’t know why either. That kid is a major mental breakdown waiting to happen. Well see, what I’m trying to do is insert myself in his place you know? So by making his parents see me every day, the minute Butters goes nutso-banano ( THIS SHIT IS BANANAS B-A-N-A.. I hate spelling, why am I trying?) then I can just take over his spot and still live at home so I can have TWICE THE CHEESY POOFS! I mean for a few minutes there I will have to take a moment and mourn for Butters and his new home in four white walls and a straight jacket while he claims Paris Hilton dressed him up as a bear, which all of us know isn’t true. Why would Paris Hilton put clothes ON somebody when clearly her only talent is to take them off or not wear any at all? Silly Butters, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Anyway, so back to chilling with Butters and no we didn’t pretend to be the tooth fairy again even though that was soooo tits. We were reading the newest issue of GLAMOUR when he told me that he overheard Kyle telling Stan that he had heard from Craig that Harry Potter has been apparently threatening to leave Hogwarts if you don’t come and stay with him. I mean, that’s just bullshit. So I said, “HEY LISTEN HARRY POTTER! DON’T CALL ME PIGGY! .. ” no wait I said, “HEY! LISTEN SCAR BOY, KASEY IS PROPERTAH OF ERIC CARTMAN SO BACCCCCCCCCKKKK OFF! Screw you guys, I’m - a - going home.” I don’t think he got the message, GOD DAMN WIZARDS! Because this morning Kyle said that Ron had sent him an email, since you know they both have red hair they must related, that said that freaky deeky scar boy was on his way here to woo you and beg you to have his children. You can ask Amber more about if you want, although apparently fat ass pancake loving mother trucking eyeliner wearing Billie Joe has been attempting the same thing. Although I think her brother might have something to say about you getting knocked up by some pre-pubescent kid from a school that sounds like an infection cream. “HOGWARTS… because there is no cure.Ask your doctor for more details and if Hogwarts is right for you.” I heard Hermione turned out to be a lesbian which just proves Kyle is even more of a girl for liking her.

Stan has like HELLA skills on the computer so he decided to make little pictures of what your and Amber’s kids will come out looking like with said lovahs. On the left we have little Cartman EDIT-Radcliffe since you will be fucking naming him after me. And on the right we have little Cartman Joe-Armstrong, because let’s face it, Amber’s last name sucks too much to take. Let’s hear a round of `awwwwwwwws` from the audience? Aren’t they precious? It’s hella cool.

One last note before I end this, Zach called Billie Joe this morning who told Amber who told me to tell you that he’s so over Mandy Moore and begs you to return to him. I told him to go shove a pipe up his hole and apparently he was willing to do anything for your love .. so if you hear any stories in the news, I was never involved.

CHEESY POOFS & hella love
 

 

PUBLIC 011 → do you talk in your sleep, that’s the one place where no one can hear you